Well, damn…navigating life with late-diagnosed ADHD
Have you ever felt like your brain operates on a different schedule? Like it's stuck in the Twilight Zone where punctuality is the goal, but somehow nearly always escapes you by some unseen agent of dark, mysterious forces (and not for lack of trying)? Where finding that packet of Goldfish (or that cup of coffee, or your book, or your keys) that you had just a moment ago is a side quest? And the near-constant side quests are a daily (nix that, more like hourly) thing in your life. Well, welcome to the world of late-diagnosed ADHD, where our brains have a knack for being fashionably late to the diagnostic party.
The Great Revelation
Picture this: You're knee-deep in your 30s, juggling life like a circus performer who had an extra shot of espresso (or two, or three, let’s be honest), when suddenly someone whispers in your ear, "Psst! Ever heard of ADHD?" You blink slowly, take a sip of your double-shot latte, and wonder if this is a joke or a compliment. But no, it's the epiphany you never saw coming - and it’s a good jumping-off point to understand yourself better, get some neurodivergent-friendly coping mechanisms under the belt, and start living your best life.
The Last-Minute Marathon Phenomenon
You know you have late-diagnosed ADHD when …. your to-do list looks like an archaeological dig site, with tasks dating back to the prehistoric era (a joke, but not a joke). While you (and the people around you) might think that you are lazy, are trying to procrastinate (for some odd reason), or are underway patenting your "Last-Minute Marathon" technique …. this is simply not true.
Let’s explore. ADHD causes executive dysfunction, time blindness, hyperfocus (a little known, but extremely important aspect of understanding ADHD fully), task overwhelm, and interest-based motivation (AKA dopamine-based motivation, AKA a dopamine-based central nervous system response, she is a woman of many names).
These concepts are unweidly, take time to learn about and understand, and thus not very well understood by society at large …. and so it’s cognitively easier to look at someone’s behavior and just say “well, they must be lazy”. Easier in some sense, but that doesn’t make it helpful, or true.
ADHD Impulsivity and Everyday Adventures
Late-diagnosed ADHD brings its own set of traits and quirks …. I mean perks! Suddenly, you realize why you've always felt that impulse to dive headfirst into spontaneous adventures (be it a last minute trip to the beach, or a new crafting hobby to add to your list of 56 current crafting hobbies and the associated stockpile of crafting supplies) or impulsively redecorate your living room once a month and usually at 2 AM. It's like living in a perpetual game show, with surprise challenges around every corner.
Neurodivergence affirming care and supports can help us to minimize the impact on our lives of the challenging components like risk-taking behaviors, seeking immediate gratification, and emotional intensity in ways that honor those neurodiverse aspects of self without resorting to those old bugaboos of shaming, treating them as moral failings or just poor choices, nor as signs of some sort of incompetence.
Neurodivergence affirming therapy can also help us lean into and cultivate the really great aspects of ADHD impulsivity - such as the inherent extra sprinkling of creativity, spontaneity, zest for life, flexibility, and adaptability that we receive as ADHDers. It helps life feel a bit more touched by the artistic stylings of Van Gogh or Picasso, and a bit less like an outtake from Trainspotting. [Side note: both historical figures and ahead-of-their-time artists are suspected of meeting ADHD criteria by forensic psychologists based on archived reports and data about their ways of living and being.]
The Scatterbrained Sleuth
Ever lost your keys, only to find them in the fridge of all places? Welcome to the world of ADHD sleuthing! Late-diagnosed ADHD means you've likely unwittingly and unwillingly become a professional treasure hunter, uncovering hidden gems in the most unexpected places. And yes, you have more "Eureka!" moments than a gold prospector.
So the next time someone tries to go low and frame your forgetfulness as a character flaw or the result of carelessness, clap back and ask them how much they know about the role of working memory in ADHD forgetfulness and tell them to stay in their lane. Give them a snarky face too for good measure.
The Superpowers We Never Knew We Had
Late-diagnosed ADHD isn't all chaos and capes askew. It's also about realizing that your brain operates on a different frequency, and that can be a kind of superpower. The ability to hyper-focus on a new project until the wee hours of the morning? Check! The knack for coming up with wild, outside-the-box ideas that leave others scratching their heads? Double-check!
ADHD can often be (mis)understood as a collection of challenges and difficulties, but it also comes with its own set of strengths and "superpowers." Understanding and celebrating these ADHD superpowers from a neurodivergence-affirming perspective can help ADHDers (and those who love them) recognize and keep the focus on the unique qualities and contributions they bring to the table.
Late-diagnosed ADHD is like discovering you're the protagonist in a quirky indie film. Sure, it may have taken a while to realize you're part of the ADHD club - but we’re already used to being a bit late, and living life on our own wonderfully erratic schedule, right? Remember, it's not about the timing, it's about the adventure. So if this is you, fear not. We have many more treasures to uncover along the understanding-the-whole-ADHD-thing-as-an-adult journey. Go on and gear up, let’s set sail together, and wave bon voyage bebes.
